Monday, June 05, 2006

Official Welcome to Sci-Fi Child #1

I'd like to officially welcome Andrew "Ace" Spiehler IV aka Spiehler of Borg to planet earth. Ace, your parents and all of their nerdy friends have waited a very long time for you, so coming early was a great surprise. (Just don't do it again, young man, or you'll be going to your alcove with no nutritional supplements!) I can't wait to meet you, but it'll probably be a while before that happens what with my being on the other side of the country and all. (Unfortunately, my transwarp drive is on the fritz. Damn Janeway!) So, I'll just give you a few sage pieces of advice from someone older than both of your parental units.

1. Always comply with directives issued by your parental units. They may seem irrelevant and inefficient at times, not to mention a bit dorky, but they have your best interests at heart and wouldn't steer you wrong.

2. When your maternal unit insists on doing embarassing things to you in public, just remember that you'll get your chance for revenge when you're about 16 or so. (Trust me. I know your maternal unit and embarassment awaits.)

3. Yes, your parental units' friends are really weird and would definitely not make efficient drones, however, if you observe closely, you'll see they know many things worth assimilating.

4. Always share your recreational equipment, known as toys to the unassimilated, with your friends and your parental units' friends. Yes, I realize that we were supposed to leave the maturation chamber a long time ago, but sometimes even adult drones require fun.

5. Emotions are often inefficient, but they are never irrelevant. Never miss a chance to feel.

6. Flux = vA Your paternal unit can probably tell you what this means. Your maternal unit will explain why it's funny.

Welcome to the collective, Spiehler of Borg. Your distinctiveness is a very welcome addition to our own.

11 Comments:

Blogger Rob the Webkahunah said...

couldn't have said it any better myself, toots :)

10:12 PM  
Blogger Stacey said...

You are SUCH a nerd. I love it. Thanks for the big welcome!

1:09 AM  
Blogger Drew said...

Faraday's law, right? It's been a while since I've done any raw electric physics calculations.

2:22 AM  
Blogger Melinda Barton said...

Flux=vA is an equation for determing the rate of expulsion of a fluid where v is the velocity and A is the size of the aperture. (Remember, both liquids and gases are technically fluids.)

8:55 AM  
Blogger Canardius said...

I wonder if the viscosity of the fluid has any bearing on the calculations.... 'cause urine is not very viscous.

8:25 PM  
Blogger Melinda Barton said...

I was thinking he'd probably be measuring the rate of expulsion of his gases since there's so much fart humor going around at his house.
Never really thought about the viscosity thing. It would probably lower velocity.

4:45 PM  
Blogger Canardius said...

And if I recall, flux is / unit Area... so it should be Flux = v/A shouldn't it?

So, the flux varies inversely with the area [which itself varies as the size of the unit in question].

And I can see how we humans weren't precisely meant for bovine milk, but I'd say it's within acceptable tolerances. I'll need an analysis of bovine milk compared to human milk.... and for that I need human milk.... which is not produced as frequently nor as easily as bovine.

4:25 PM  
Blogger Melinda Barton said...

You're probably thinking of the equation for pressure where P=F/A or pressure is force per unit of area. Rate of expulsion is the velocity times the size of the aperture.

4:33 PM  
Blogger Canardius said...

I was thinking of magnetic flux, or at least I thought i was.. but I forgot the equation. Here's the right one I was thinking of:

magnetic field strength (B) = flux / area

My mother seems to think that her grandfather, William J. Matthews, a native of Missouri [probably st. louis] was of Blackfoot Indian extraction. How do I look into that?

5:40 PM  
Blogger Melinda Barton said...

Depending on how much blood quantum, he may have been registered with the government. Try looking at the Dawes Act rolls to see if you find any family names. Or you can contact the Blackfoot to see what genealogical resources they have. The Blackfoot are a sad story. As of about 5 (?) years ago, there is no longer a single living full-blooded Blackfoot.

9:19 AM  
Blogger Dreamwalker said...

*plaintive sigh*

No one can say I'm not an optimist...I do keep checking in.

You are easily as bad as I am when it comes to posting. Presumably equally busy :)

7:24 PM  

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